Monthly Archives: May 2010

Today’s Journal

Chuck Palahniuk is telling a story about treating some Vanity Fair writer chick like dirt, and they are both loving it, and in the end they both get a good story out of it (giving her fake drugs, blindfolding her, shutting down the local amusement park by burning mylar balloons) and maybe half of it is true but, like Twain, if it is funny then it happened to him, so no blood, no foul, you know what I’m saying? His advice to student writers at the conference? “I don’t have any advice for you.”

Today’s Bumpersticker

Name your child after a corporation. It got Rand Paul where he is today.

Today’s Moment of Zen

A middle schooler’s haiku:

Today’s Moment of Extreme Zen

I heard Jim Post sing this song in a bar in the 1980’s. It was sublime and funny and extremely zen.

The Galaxy Song/Lighten Up
by Jim Post

Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown,
And things are hard and tough,
And people are stupid, obnoxious, and daft,
And you feel that you’ve had quite enough [enough, enough,
enough, enough, enough, enough]:
Just remember that you’re standing on a planet that’s evolving,
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour.
It’s orbiting at ninety miles a second, so it’s reckoned,
‘Round the Sun that is the source for all our power.
The Sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm at forty thousand miles an hour
In the galaxy we call the Milky Way.
Now, the galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It’s a hundred thousand light years side from side.
It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light years thick,
And out by us, just three thousand light years wide.
We’re thirty thousand light years from galactic central point,
And go around every two hundred million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions and billions
In this amazing and expanding Universe.
Now the Universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,
And in every direction it can whiz,
As fast as it can go, the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and that’s the fastest speed there is.
So remember when you’re feeling very small and insecure,
How amazing unlikely was your birth.
And pray that there’s intelligent life somewhere up above,
For there isn’t any down here on Earth!
Lighten up! There are stars in the sky.
Lighten up! It’s a good question why.
But you don’t know the answer, and neither do I.
So, meanwhile let’s just all lighten up.
And remember that you’re standing on a planet that’s evolving,
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour.
It’s orbiting at ninety miles a second, so it’s reckoned,
‘Round the Sun that is the source for all our power.
The Sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm at forty thousand miles an hour
In the galaxy we call the Milky Way.
In an outer spiral arm at forty thousand miles an hour
In the galaxy we call the Milky Way.

Today’s Bumpersticker

Give all your money to the rich, it fattens them up for hunting season.

Today’s Factoid

Portland Oregon (global lodestone for the terminally weird) has more strip clubs than churches. In other words, there are more sons of Walt Whitman here than of John Calvin.

Today’s Quote

“Between the rebels in front of me and the bankers behind me, I fear the bankers more.”

–Abraham Lincoln