Tag Archives: portland

Escape to Portland

“We escaped to Portland…where even wilted things grow.”

–Marc Acito

Portland

Portland

We are proud of the old shanghai tunnels in this town
now dissected by the basements of lawyers and rug merchants.
Once the tunnels lead drugged sailors back to their pressed lives.
We hold the them up as if to say,
See, we were wild once — back in the day, back in the day.
Now we have a basketball team and a gay mayor.
See how far we have come?
Now we drive hybrids and recycle and remember fondly
when things were rough and racy.
See how we care?
We have a home –an empty lot– for the homeless out by the airport.
See how we care?
Now we lead west coast cities in child sex trafficking — no really, you didn’t know?
If a child sleeps on the street here, they are likely forced into prostitution within forty eight hours.
We eat local and coach soccer
and sleep easy in our beds beside the streets far meaner now than ever.
At least the sailors of the 1800s chose their trade and it’s dangers.
By the way, have you tried that new pinot noir from the Dundee hills?
It’s full-bodied with notes of chocolate and cinnamon and leaves the palate cleaner with no hint of a rising gorge.

Strange White Powder In Portland

Portland, OR - A strange, white powder has blanketed the Portland area causing widespread alarm and twenty four hour local news coverage. Old timers call it “powder snow.” They say it last fell like this in Portland in 1968, and indicate it will go away over time. That has not stopped the city from spending nearly a million dollars over the last week moving it around.

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Weather Forecast Wet, Then Dry

Portland, OR - The weather tomorrow will be wet, followed by dry sometime in late June.

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