Tag Archives: GOP convention

GOP Convention Protesters Leave Note: “Last Free American, Turn Out The Lights”

St. Paul, MN - After the United States Secret Service and the Department of Homeland Security took command control of all law enforcement in Saint Paul, MN, site of the Republican convention this week, the arrests and occasional beatings of all vocal protesters proceeded according to plan. People who attempted to record the arrests on video had their equipment and ID confiscated and all personal accounts frozen. Reporters attempting to discover the protesters whereabouts were told there was no immediate information available about the “potential terrorists”. At the site of the protests, far from the site of the convention and now eerily empty, someone left this note in spray paint on the pavement: “last free American, please turn out the lights.”



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Sen. Larry Craig To Address GOP Convention From Toilet Stall

Washington, DC – Still stinging from his party’s rebukes after being arrested for lewd conduct in an airport mens room, Senator Larry Craig plans to address the Republican Party convention next week from a toilet stall. Senator Craig is not being offered a speaker’s slot on the main podium, but will instead broadcast his views via streaming video and YouTube. Craig is currently on a book tour publicizing his new autobiography, “Stalling For Time.”

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