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New Bush Midnight Rule: Bush Staff To Get Ranches in Paraguay

darkmatter0205 — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 18:13:19 +0000

Washington, DC – Worried about being hounded for the rest of their lives by lawsuits over potential crimes committed while in office, outgoing president George Bush signed an executive order today that will provide funding for “secure outbounding facilities” at a location in Paraguay. The land is near the 98840 acres that Bush already owns, the 173,000 acres owned by Bush Sr and the larger parcel owned by Reverend Sun Yung Moon. The property will be made available to senior Bush staff and aides. Paraguay has no criminal extradition treaty with the United States. Administration sources say the property will be protected by a private security force from the Blackwater Security Group.

Posted in National, Politics Tagged: blackwater, bush, humor, land, midnight rule, paraguay, ranch

Bush Gropes Beach Volleyball Olympian: “Just Bein’ Friendly”

darkmatter0205 — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 18:08:52 +0000

Beijing, China – President Bush continued his physical approach to the world’s headline makers today by groping olympic beach volleyball champion Kerri Walsh after her team’s triumph over the the Norwegian team in semi-finals today. “Just bein’ friendly,” said Bush afterwards.

Bush Issues Sternly Worded Bromide to Putin Over Georgia Invasion

darkmatter0205 — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:04:37 +0000

Beijing, China - It was a dramatic moment in the stands at the opening ceremonies of the Olympics in Beijing when President Bush confronted Alexander Putin about Russia’s invasion of the breakaway republic of Georgia. Witnesses sitting nearby reported hearing fragments of the conversation. “Bush told him ‘it sure would be nice if you left those people alone, Pootee,’ ” recalled Lee Johnson of Tupelo, Mississippi.