Category Archives: journal

journal

Winter Fragrance

Bright sun and high 30s today. Walking through the outdoor patio entrance to my bank today, I was transported by the winter fragrance of Chinese Witch Hazel (Hamamelis Molis.) I looked around for the gangly yellow misanthrope, but it was hiding. There are bacteria living miles below the earths crust making their living in lithic darkness harvesting energy from the radioactive decay of minerals. The diffuse light and cold of the Portland winter at the earths surface is comparative tropical luxury for the Witch Hazel, leaving it energy enough to perfume the air with its sexual vigor. Why do men go to ground in winter, thinking that nature is so feeble as to only grant us it’s favor seasonally?

Playing the White Keys

I watched President Obama’s state of the union speech before congress last night. He is a good orator, probably the best since Kennedy, but he’s no Jack Kennedy. Obama has no Aeschylus, no Cicero in him. He doesn’t reach for the stars, maybe because he thinks he is the star. The rhythms and cadence of the black preachers are in his repertoire , but he mostly keeps them at the back of the bus. He knows he can’t sound too black, and in him, it is an affect anyway. He mostly played the white keys and delivered a reasonably rendered Souza march from the moderate Protestant Republican side of his family tree. The south side Chicago community organizer who can do a reasonable Al Green impression was not in evidence.

I recalled that ordinary US citizens can no longer sit in the gallery and watch our elected officials. We can only visit a facsimile, presumably soon to be staffed with animatronic senators. Given the state of our actual corrupt sock puppet government, the Disneyland version will at least have clean toilets and a story line that won’t give you a stroke.

Unemployment

Getting fired is
a car accident a mile from town
a funeral on a Tuesday
a child born under a bad sign
the river jumped the bank
took out a row of trees and
the houses now crazy tilted
and silted in
and the L and N don’t stop here anymore
it’s a note stuck to a box of cheap donuts
delivered to your doorstep
on a Sunday morning
saying even though we just
took you off at the knees
we know you’ll land
on your feet

Storm Large

Portland’s prodigal daughter and rock and roll diva Storm Large has written an autobiography called “Crazy Enough.” I was lucky to see her perform her one-woman play based on her life, which includes the unforgettable audience sing-along “My Vagina is Eight Miles Wide.” Beneath the sex, heroin addiction and musical shit storm of talent lies a tale of sorrow and love for a mentally ill mother who left her daughter too early. It is an incredibly brave story. Storm tears the shirt and rips the pockets off of life and loves it all the way down. She is the musical love child of Liza Minelli and Janis Joplin. If you ever get a chance to see her perform, take it. She is in her forties now and performing topless is probably no longer in her repertoire. But it would probably distract from her immense talent anyway.

The New Eden

Noam Chomsky comments on the latest climate talks: “the richest and most powerful nation in history is leading mankind and much of Creation off a cliff. The point of no return is now around 2017, when the carbon budget will be spent.”

I know we are attached and desirous, not seeing and accepting things as they are. The coming crash may be unavoidable. All compound things are impermanent by nature. We are the desirous fools God made us to be. We have already eaten of the tree of knowledge. That horse is out of the barn. If God is banishing us from the Garden lest we gain eternal life, well, too late on that one too. Poetry is eternal. We made that. So are Glenn Gould’s Goldberg Variations and perhaps the infield fly rule. The moments I held my children for the first time are eternal, and I plan to take them and hundreds more with me when I go. There is a difference between eternal and everlasting. If God fears us gaining everlasting life, he can have it. As Woody Allen says, who wants to sit through the Ice Capades again.

So here is the deal. We will probably take our licking in the evolutionary woodshed, retreat towards the poles as the earth warms and dessicates, drop our population drastically, if that is the price we must pay. We made it through the last evolutionary bottleneck when our numbers dwindled to under ten thousand, and we will make it through another. With Lovelock, the author of the Gaia principle, I believe we will become the new oxygen, the highly caustic byproduct of evolution itself that eventually becomes the catalyst for a whole new fluorescence of life. We will adapt, we will evolve and yes, sadly, many of us and our brethren flora and fauna will perish. We did not ask to be put here, nor did we did not ask to be so successful as a species. But we will do precisely what evolution programmed us to do: adapt and survive, even if adapting requires the exact opposite of what it took to make it this far. I expect that the new Eden will likely be strange and wonderful, in it’s own way too.

Journal entry 1-14-12

It was very cold and windy by the Columbia this morning, with flecks of snow. The bird cannons at the airport were booming the whole time, as large flocks gathered in the grass near the runways, seeking heat from the passing jet engines.

The beauty around you

Look at all the beauty that is still around you and be happy.

–Anne Frank

Big Powow in Portland

Indian Powwow

4000 Native Americans gathered last night at the convention center in Portland for a traditional powwow celebration. The theme for the event was “party as if it were 1491.”

The Beach in Winter

The rain blows sideways and the ocean tumbles in long rills of white and grey, diffusing into the sand and barely holding its own against the sky. A seagull patrols outside our window, constantly turning his head from side to side, watching our movements for a gesture that might suggest a meal. Swaying curtains of rain are drawn over the tide pools that burst with life in the summertime. Flower beds surrounding the hotel are buried in water, forming tiny moats. Life at the beach in winter is about the next friendly conversation, the next cup of coffee and changing out of wet socks.

Using Gifts

If God gives you something you can do, why in God’s name wouldn’t you do it?

—Stephen King

Think Global, Occupy Local

From the morning’s inbox:

On Tuesday Dec 20th, Lucas Fielder – PBX operator at the Vancouver Hilton – stood up and spoke for better wages for himself and his coworkers at his Union’s Candlelight Vigil. He was fired the next day.

UNITE HERE quickly organized an emergency delegation to demand justice for Luke. Yesterday, Thur Dec 22nd, over 35 people gathered at the hotel, only hours after Luke was fired. They stormed into the lobby of the hotel and met with the General Manager. They then marched over to City Hall and delegated the city manager, Eric Holmes, letting him know the injustices at his "city owned" hotel.

At this point, Luke has not been reinstated to his job. There will be future actions and I will keep Vancouver4Peace updated, as you have all been an incredible support for the Vancouver Hilton workers!

The Way Down from the Gallows

“The only way down from the gallows is to swing.”
– Tom Waits

Coffin Corners

In the houses of new England, where the steep and narrow staircases turned at the landing, they often built niches into the walls so coffins being carried down the stairs could easily make the turn. Death at home, in bed, was a fact of life no less than cooking in kettles hung over a kitchen fire and sleeping in unheated rooms. Passing a coffin corner on your way downstairs to breakfast every morning would have been an unremarkable reminder of what daily life told you in myriad ways, that life is brief and death is inseparable from the day to day experience of life. Mexico’s day of the dead makes the same point with a twist of mordant humor thrown in. In the USA of the 21st century maybe we fear death so because we have lost our friendship with it.

Car Prowlers Are Getting Bolder

In the curb in front of my house there are rusted iron rings that were used to tie horses, back when horse drawn wagons delivered milk and eggs and canned salmon in my neighborhood. The rings tend to crack the concrete over time. Last night someone pulled a hunk of the cracked concrete out of the curb and threw it through the window of our car, looking for anything valuable. The guy at the repair shop says this is happening all over now and that car prowlers are getting bolder. People are even leaving their cars unlocked to avoid the broken windows.

Inhaling Shooting Stars

Today I walked across the same parking lot as yesterday and sat in the same cubicle, while the crab nebulae and the spraying Geminid meteors overhead made it hard to concentrate on my email. I flicked my desk light on and stared at my laptop screen, but the tons of space rock whistling in from the far reaches of the galaxy took my mind to a place where Microsoft Oulook does not deliver.

Last night, opposite the moon’s part of the sky, these interstellar visitors looked like heavenly messengers. I wanted to inhale them.

These bright, frigid mornings…

The Canada geese were huddled in the only sliver of the pond this morning that was not frozen over. Their avuncular mood does not change on these bright, frigid mornings. They greet the day with the same stolid optimism on the days when the sleet blows sideways and the sun seems gone for an eternity. Where are the men to match them in their world view?

Seen in Portland

A bumper sticker: My Dog Gives Blood. Can Yours?

(um, no, we like fresh at our house)

What the 1% Knows

Big capital is stone cold. It takes “risks” when it can get house odds, that is, when there is no real risk at all. It always leaves the back door open and the getaway car running. All great fortunes throughout history have been built through theft. Today is no different, except that theft has been legalized.

The 1% is planning for 100 years of class war. They know climate change will create a world wide band of desert 40 degrees north and south of the equator. They know global population will plummet by 80% and no nation state will protect them from social unrest when the conversation turns from the lack of jobs to the lack of food and safe drinking water.

The irony is that mankind’s salvation does not ultimately lie in creating these desperate and lonely islands, but in the gracious cooperation we are seeing in the Occupy movement. In fact, it is the only reason we are here today.

What Happens Next

Here is what happens next with Occupy. The 1% are now realizing that they over reached. Throwing so many people out of work created the greatest danger of all: giving workers the time to think. The 1% knows that their privileges are at stake if the masses stay unemployed and restless much longer. Every lever of instant money creation and worldwide government/corporate collusion will now be pulled to try and put enough people back to work in order to anesthetize the Great Awakening. Nothing to see here. Move along. Get back to watching Dancing with the Stars. This is already underway in the USA.

Unfortunately, the toothpaste won’t go back in the tube.