Dear Mr. Biologist,
I have the best girlfriend a woman could ever want. She is always there for me and we have been through a lot together. We talk about nearly everything. The only thing is, she has some poor personal grooming habits. One of them drives me crazy. She has hair growing out of her ears and nose and won’t do anything about it. Some days she looks like she needs mowing. Should I say something to her about it?
–Turned Off By Hairy Ears
Dear Turned,
Biologically your hirsute friend has inherited a genetic adaptation that allowed her distant ancestors who lived in the northern latitudes during the last ice age to avoid frostbite on exposed parts of the body. I’m sure a few hundred generations back, her ancestors were regular fuzzbutts. I’m sure she has hair in other “wrong” places too. If it offends you, you might consider that some people find body hair attractive. I have an Aunt who married a man who looked like a black bear in the shower. She always said she could knit sweaters with what she found in the tub after Uncle Rod was done. So my suggestion is to remember that everyone has their own unique genetic legacy and simply look for other things about her to criticize.
Sincerely,
Mr. Biologist
