Monthly Archives: January 2009

Today’s Anagram: Rahm Emanuel

A Lean Hummer

Manure Helm

Male Ram En Uh!
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Today’s Epigram

“Who gossips with you will gossip of you.”

-Irish proverb

Next Season Of “The Bachelor” To Feature She-Male

Los Angeles, CA - There is very strict security enforced on the set during the filming of the popular reality show The Bachelor which is wrapping up filming it’s final episodes for next season. However, reports are circulating from a reliable source that one of the women who was accepted as a finalist and survived past a number of rose ceremony screenings was eventually revealed to be a she-male. “We think it will get people thinking about what really matters in relationships,” said one of the production crew on condition of anonymity.
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Today’s Poem: Girl In A Miniskirt Reading The Bible Outside My Window, by Charles Bukowski

Sunday, I am eating a
grapefruit, church is over at the Russian
Orthodox to the
west.

she is dark
of Eastern descent,
large brown eyes look up from the Bible
then down. a small red and black
Bible, and as she reads
her legs keep moving, moving,
she is doing a slow rythmic dance
reading the Bible. . .

long gold earrings;
2 gold bracelets on each arm,
and it’s a mini-suit, I suppose,
the cloth hugs her body,
the lightest of tans is that cloth,
she twists this way and that,
long yellow legs warm in the sun. . .

there is no escaping her being
there is no desire to. . .

my radio is playing symphonic music
that she cannot hear
but her movements coincide exactly
to the rhythms of the
symphony. . .

she is dark, she is dark
she is reading about God.
I am God.
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Today’s Anagram: Joe Biden

Anagrams for Joe Biden:

Job Need I

Jibed One
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Today’s Epigram

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”

-Abraham Lincoln

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Today’s Anagram: Rick Warren

Crank Wrier
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Today’s Epigram

“The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.”

-Winston Churchill

Goodbye Andrew Wyeth

Chadds Ford, PA – The American painter Andrew Wyeth died this week at his home in Pennsylvania at the age of 91. He was an unsentimental Rembrandt of rural life.

hillpasture

Today’s Recycled Word: Plinth

Words are falling out of common use everyday. When was the last time you were fleered at, felt orgulus or applied for a job as a plongeur? Or for that matter, how many times have you had occasion to put something on a plinth? We note that a plinth, a supporting block beneath a column, pedestal, or statue still has some utility. However, this nerdy sounding word is just waiting to be put back into broader circulation.

So we offer the following alternative definitions:

Plinth (noun)

1. A lisping prince, as in the “Plinth and the Plauper”.

2. An impressive potential male suitor who turns out to be gay, as in “that hunk at the bar last night turned out to be a plinth. Can you believe it?”
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Today’s Epigram by Thoreau

To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts.

-Thoreau

Today’s Epigram by Emerson

The greatest man in history was the poorest.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today’s Epigram by Winston Churchill

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
– Winston Churchill

Today’s Poem By Robert Burns

Folklore attributes this poem to Robert Burns, who someone dared to rhyme “Timbuktu” in a poem:

When Tim and I a walkin’ went

We spied three lassies in a tent.

Since they were three and we but two,

I bucked one and Timbuktu.
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Today’s Politically Incorrect Poem by W.H. Auden

Guard your civility with guns,

Your modes and your declensions.

Any lout can spear with ease

Singular Archimedes.
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Overheard In Portland

Regarding Dick Clark’s performance (following a stroke) on his New Year’s Eve show:

“He was worse last year.”

Deep Throat Speaks From The Grave

San Franciso, CA – Mark Felt, known during the Watergate era as Deep Throat, died on December 19. He left a letter in his will to be opened after his death. The letter will be published in it’s entirety shortly, but here is an excerpt:

“Kidding! I made the whole thing up. A bunch of us at the Bureau couldn’t stand Nixon, saw through his bullshit, so we faked the early tapes, the break in, everything. Nixon was shit-faced drunk most of the time, and actually thought the whole thing was his idea, even took credit for it. We fed it to Woodward and Bernstein — now there is a pair of chumps — and then it just snowballed.”
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Today’s Anagrams: Hillary Clinton

Anagrams for “Hillary Clinton”:

Chorally Nil Nit

Archly Loin Lint

Rant Chilly Loin
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