Daily Archives: September 14, 2008

American Christianists To Convene: “Jesus Is Our CEO”

Posted on September 14, 2008 | Leave a comment

Colorado Springs, CO - “Christianism takes up where Christianity left off. Christianity is all about the meek inheriting the earth and do unto others, which we think, frankly, is a misinterpretation of the Bible. Christianism is about bending others to our will, um, I mean the will of Jesus,” said Reverend James Blobson of Focus On the Fetus. “We believe the corporate model is the structure that Jesus intended to use to run the world, with himself as CEO. Until he returns, we will pick one to reign in his place.” The first Christianist convention will take place in Colorado Springs, Colorado in February of 2009 and feature George Bush and Sarah Palin as keynote speakers.

Bookmark and Share

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Business, Politics

Tagged , , , ,

Male Stupidity Linked To Bed-Sharing, Though Sex Improves Listening Skills

Posted on September 14, 2008 | Leave a comment

Vienna, Austria – Theories about male stupidity go as far back to Adam and Eve. Now “brain drain” due to bed-sharing has been identified as a cause of decreased cognitive function in men. “We weren’t meant to share beds. Sex and sleeping together is a modern phenomenon, ” said researchers who developed the study. The syndrome seems to affect men far more than women, as women seem to be programmed to handle sleep interruption better than men. The study did show that sex appeared to improve male listening skills. “At least the men appeared to be listening after sex, but maybe they were finally able to get some sleep,” said the researchers.

Bookmark and Share

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Science

Tagged , , ,